Welcome back everyone. I know what you are thinking, “two articles in less then a month, how did I get so freaking lucky!!!” Ok, so you are probably thinking “This isn’t the porn site I clicked on?“ but since you are already here, might as well keep reading. I really wanted to do a long detailed column on football this week, but unfortunately, the whole job thing got in the way. So I decided tonight I am going to try for the first time ever a running journal. I am going to watch the Phils vs Dodgers and take notes of my thoughts, feelings, etc at the time. IF this works out, maybe next time I will do this with live comments from my readers or you guys who accidentally got here when you tried to click on porn, but whatever.
3:57- I am incredibly nervous about this game and hate that I am still working. I really need to hook up a TV in my office, this is stupid. My plan is to have the game on and rewind any time I hear screaming or yelling. I can’t believe I am about to root for Pedro in the playoffs.
4:12- Checked the game just in time to see Howard pop out for the final out of the first inning 0-0. When I look at Howard I think two incredibly different things; first that he looks like such a nice, lovable guy; second, he could probably beat the crap out of me and all my friends if he felt like it. Does anyone else elicit those feelings? 2006 Big Papi?
4:36- So far 6 men up and 6 men down for Pedro, great stuff. At this point, I have seen a total of 8 pitches in this game and I am starting to lose it.
4:46- Padilla just threw a 96 MPH fastball followed by a 55 MPH breaking ball!!! Are you kidding me, you can’t have that much of a speed difference on the freaking Wii. I’ve always maintained that normal people would crush pitchers who throw all off speed stuff, simply because that would be all you could hope to hit. If someone throws it 90 I’m probably running away, but slow down and I’m going to hit the crap out of the ball (hopefully it would make it out of the infield).
5:00- Game is flying along. We’re going into the top of the 4th and the score is 0-0 with 1 hit for each team. When I watch something like baseball it makes me laugh at Tiger Woods. The dude freaks out if you break wind in his backswing cause it messes him up. Seriously! Have you seen the noise that is made at baseball games when these guys are trying to hit a moving 98 MPH ball that’s possibly spinning towards them? I’m not saying, I’m just saying.
5:05- What makes me happier, the sound of the bat hitting the ball or the look of the pitcher as Ryan Howard rounds the bases? There really is no right answer to this question.
5:38- I’m officially done work and focused on the game. Top 6th 1-0 with Rollins up. Speaking of which, Rollins needs to pick it up if were going to have a shot at winning it all.
5:40- Rollins strikes out, nice. I know people talk about Harry Kalas, but I don’t think the story gets enough attention. No disrespect to the Angels, because its always hard when a young and bright talent passes away, but no way any player means as much to their team as Harry meant to Philly. It’s just not possible; the guy was the voice of Philly. I just pray that I can utter the sentence “The fightin Phils did this one for Harry!”
5:50- I hate one run games, they make me sick to my stomach. I remember hearing one time that no true fan ever enjoys a good game from their team. It is so true, a good game and you’re breathing heavy, screaming at the TV and just freaking out. Give me a blow out already so I can relax, I mean, it’s Friday. On a completely different note, the only cheers that I ever hear from these Dodger fans is “Philly Sucks”, I mean really, you can’t root for your team instead.. Negative karma will come back to you. End of the 6th inning 1-0 Phillies.
5:57- I’m not exactly a baseball guy, but I would walk Ryan Howard with an open base. I mean he’s got an RBI in every postseason game this year and 15 in the last 9, just seems to make sense.
Great comment from my brother on Pedro’s game so far “Soul glow is apparently just as effective as HGH at reviving old pitchers careers!” He makes a great point, if he pitches in Philly he might have to worry about that mop freezing to the back of his neck.
The Viagra commercial with the guy talking to his own reflection just came on and it really bothers me….how can your reflection know more then you about a medical condition then you do? Shouldn’t this guy talk to his doctor about his reflection talking too him?
6:09- Manny whiffs and strikes out, WOW! Pedro is looking awesome and I feel horrible writing that because I am writing this live.
Holy rusted metal batman! Thought that might be a HR. So Pedro has gone through 7 innings and hasn’t thrown 90 pitches yet…do you pull him? Will he get hurt if you leave him out there?
No matter how many times he says it, I don’t believe Lopez tonight is going to be very funny. Why are there so many half good comedians getting talk shows? It doesn’t make sense to me.
6:15- The problem with writing a running journal on a baseball game is that you have no idea how long its going to be. Last night if I would have done this, there would have been opportunity for two pages worth of thought in the 5th inning alone. Tonight, we got to the 8th in under two hours, life is funny that way.
6:19- Dobbs is pinch hitting for Pedro after Ruiz was just walked with one out. It will be interesting to see how this will play out, I think it is the right decision; you don’t want to risk hurting him if he can do this type of start again in the playoffs. Dodgers are pulling Padilla as well, great game from both starters.
These black taco commercials from Taco Bell are absolutely hilarious. Not the way I think they mean them to be though, I would never ever eat something called a black taco. It sounds like the name of a gross sex move or a stripper in some seedy bar in a really bad area. If I’m sitting next to someone that orders a black taco I’m yelling “Joke Off” immediately.
Side Note: Joke off is something that my friends and I do when someone says something that was meant to be serious, but has an easy 5 jokes that could be made to make it dirty. Someone yells joke off and then everyone delivers their best one liner and a winner is chose, great times.
6:28- This isn’t insightful or funny, how is Craig Sager taken seriously? His suits would have been a joke in the freaking 70’s.
Blake hits a ball off of Feliz’s glove for a lead off single. Feliz has been a big pile of dung so far in the playoffs. Juan Pierre is coming in to pinch run, my stomach is more contorted then Jenna Jamison’s face in a snuff flick.
6:31- They bunt and Park and Howard boss miss the freaking ball. A runner on first and second with nobody out and maybe pulling Pedro wasn’t the greatest idea ever. I need a drink, or 4.
6:36- Were still on Russel Martin batting, baseball is taking years off my life, now it’s a full count……
6:38- Easy double play, the exact way you want it, and for the second night in a row Utley makes a horrible throw. It is not what you expect from him, but its happened two games in a row. Game is tied up, there is 1 out and a man on 1st and Chan Ho Park gets pulled.
6:42- Dodgers are gaining momentum, Thome gets a hit and gets Martin to 3rd and there is still only one out. Manuel is now pulling Scott Eyre…I have to say, this freaking playoffs I have never seen so many pitchers get pulled so fast, it makes the game take too long.
Kobe is at the game and is apparently a Dodgers fan even though he grew up in Philly. Ya know what Kobe, GOOD, no one likes you anyhow, and you’re a dick!
6:46- Ryan Madson was just brought in to pitch and I’m not sure how I feel. 2007 Madson I would be thinking please god don’t pitch a curveball. 2008 Madson I would say inning is over. 2009 Madson, I have no idea what is going to happen and I do not like it. Did I say I agreed with pulling Pedro? I was just kidding; can we put him back in?
6:49- 3-1 count and the chances of me getting too drunk tonight are increasing by the minute, if he walks him I am going…..live journal ladies and gentleman, thank god I didn’t decide what I was going to do because he did walk him. Here comes Matt Kemp and Jack Daniels.
6:52- STRIKE OUT!! That was huuuuuuuge. Need a quick out now and get out of the inning, but wait, were switching pitchers again, why not? It was 6:15 when the 8th inning started, its still going.
Stop telling me that these teams have the most come back wins and walk off wins and good road records already. It’s the NLCS, the two teams there having really good records and winning close games is not really all the surprising.
6:58- They just had a shot of Kobe wearing glasses and trying to look like Spike Lee, I hate that guy.
7:00- The count is full, the bases are loaded, there are two outs in the bottom of the 8th…..and he freaking walks him to get the lead. Maybe if Manuel wasn’t changing pitchers as often as he has to change his freaking diaper someone could get a rhythm. How does it make sense to change pitchers every batter? My brother Randy again “I feel like I am watching a little league game where everyone has to play.”
7:03- And the correct answer was Chad Durbin ladies and gentleman. Bases are still loaded and Manny comes in and pops out on the first pitch. Thank god because if he went more pitches I would have lost my mind. Top of the 9th, top of the order and it’s a one run game. I will say this, if someone gets on base, and Ryan Howard gets up, it’s a tie game.
7:07- Broxton vs Rollins, its time to make a mark Rollins…..grounds out!
7:10- Shane grounds out so there are two outs. Utley is up to bat with a chance to make up for his error, I’m not having fun anymore, I’m rocking, I’m nervous……someone show a clip of Matt Stairs and make me feel better already.
7:13- Fly ball for the final out of the game. As much as I love the guy, there is no ignoring the fact that Chase Utley cost us tonight’s game and nearly cost us last nights games. With that being said, I would almost bet money that he is out of this world this Sunday.
So there we are, the series is tied at 1-1 but Philly now has home field advantage and Cliff Lee coming up. I am going to break some things now and get drunk. Good day….I SAID GOOD DAY!